Who Are You?

I waited patiently for you. I searched the horizon for signs of you. For the longest time I eagerly anticipated seeing you, but when I finally found you I was disillusioned at the first sight of you. My anticipation turned to angst. My eagerness to be held quickly became a longing to be free. I have spent many hours and days imagining how I would run to you. Now my only desire is to run away.

I can't sleep because of you. I am awake until morning, night after night. The sunrise that used to bring tender thoughts of you now brings the dull pain that is a sickening reminder of all that you once meant to me.

My health is failing. My mind has been weakened... a result of the wounds that you caused. The burning within me has been snuffed out by your lies. You stole my passion.

You infiltrated every part of my life. That's where your "power" seems to lie. You have so overtaken me that if I remove you there will likely be nothing left. "I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you." (~Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac)

Because of this, I am not the person I thought I was. I deceived myself into thinking I was someone who I'm not. I am not who I thought I was, because you are not who I thought you were.

I am grappling for peace and will find it without your help. I will overcome the trials you've brought upon me. You will not destroy me.

I know that you are not who I thought you were. I really don't want to know who you are.

~brian vogt