Stranger In My Home

Did you hear that?
I heard something
Someone is here
Someone besides me
I'm looking around but I can't see...
THERE, there he is!
It's a man. There's a man in my home.
It's nobody I know
Just some stranger
There's a stranger in my home.
He's looking at me
I don't know what to do
Do I run and hide?
Do I stay and fight?

I just don't know.
So I turn away from the mirror
And leave the stranger
For another day.

Moving On

About a year and a half ago my wife and I moved back to our "home" from the state of California. We've moved a bunch of times in the last several years... from the Midwest to Southern California, and after moving several places in So-cal, on to Northern California. Then, somehow, I suppose because we started having kids, we ended up back "home" in the Midwest. I don't doubt that we'll move again. God willing, it will be within the next 5 to 10 years.

All this moving has taught us some things. One of them is, as the cliche goes, is that "distance makes the heart grow fonder. For myself, I'd need to adjust this saying for it to really work for me. I'd have to say something like "Distance makes the heart grow fonder ... but only after you have kids and you want them to see their grandparents." It was at that point that I really started missing "home".

I have realized now that while distance makes the heart grow fonder, moving home causes you to remember all the reasons why you left in the first place. For example, I hate the weather here at "home". It's miserable. It always has been and probably will be as long as I live. I do like the occasional storms I guess--but the rest of it just sucks.

There have been many many times in my life when I've had to "move on". I've had to let go of some ideal that I had, some dream of perfection that was never meant to be, and just leave. It seems my dreams of home have been shown for what they are: just dreams.

I've had to move on at various times in my life from friendships and relationships ... either because I chose to end a relationship or because I had no choice. It seems as if the same thing is happening yet again, in so many ways, and on so many levels. This is beyond geography now, I hope you understand. It is social but even more so personal, and even spiritual.

I think we'll be in the Midwest for a few more years, after which time we'll "move on"... even if only in an idealogical sense.

Abandoned

You said you were my friend
I thought you'd never leave
It seems as though your gone now
Though my mind still can't believe

I thought I'd have your friendship
Until the day I die
When I think about your absence
Tears come to my eyes

If only I could see you
And talk with you once more
Maybe we could find a way
To be just like before

Sometimes I sit and ask myself
How this ever came to be
But I just can't answer the question
Of why you abandoned m...

Oh wait, Never mind. I forgot.

I abandoned you.